it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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