She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
