Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dick very happy bro
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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