i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
