I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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