I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
