You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
