brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
