butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
