Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
