Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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