As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
