sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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