Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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