my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
