don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
