Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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