I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
