we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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