Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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