id be glad to
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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