Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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