I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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