Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
