NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
