3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
birth control should be required to get into college
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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