You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
