i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
