We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
