Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
