Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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