I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
