oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
