she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
