She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
