i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
