Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
