Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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