Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
