I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
