Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
