I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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