You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
