Sry I called you an 8
Nicole vs. Life
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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