ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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