Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
