Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
