I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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