dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Pants are for mortals
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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