I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
