Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
